Good Girl (Prod. Jonny Joon)

by Kelleia

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about

Chak-heh. It’s a Korean word that means good, well-behaved, nice, polite; often used to describe a young woman who keeps quiet, who listens to her parents, who follows customs. A good girl.

When I was a baby, my dad would sing a song he wrote about me to soothe me when I was crying. I know the song because he would sing it all the way up through my preteen years to show his affection for me. It goes like this (translated from Korean to English): our Kelley is such a pretty Kelley, our Kelley is such a good (chak-han) Kelley, our Kelley is such a cute Kelley. So pretty, so chak-heh, so cute! It’s a great song, don’t get me wrong, and I felt so special when he sang it and my energy would light up from the attention. I know I am extremely blessed to have my dad, he really is the best father. I share this story to elucidate the subconscious expectation that’s placed on young girls who come from Confucianist cultures (e.g., Korean, Chinese) to be virtuous. That being a “good girl” who does well in school and is well-behaved was the pinnacle I was always aiming for. I wanted to be chak-heh, I had to be, because that’s how I would get the most love from my family. And I had to live up this brilliant song, of course!

Writing and now releasing, “Good Girl” has helped me reconcile the feelings that I wasn’t good or good enough because I wasn’t who my culture/partner/family/fill-in-the-blank wanted me to be. In fact, the original title of this song was “Mind Reading” because it was based on my desire to read my partner’s mind so I could be who I thought he wanted me to be for him! Craziness, I know. Now, I get to be the boss of my own life, I’m working on better communicating my personal boundaries while still being kind (it’s pretty much in my DNA to be chakheh), and I’m on the road to being a true good girl, on my own terms. 🙂

lyrics

I saw you slip away
Just for a second
Our love is here to stay
We have it, we have it

I let you get away
Run from the lessons
Our love can heal the pain
We have it, we have it

Tryna be a good girl for you
Doin' what you want me to do
Tryna be a good girl for you
Gonna show you all I can do

I had to bring you back
Make you remember
Our love was made to last
We have it, we have it

I’ll let you slip through my hands
But the embers of
Our love will light the path
We have it, we have this

Tryna be a good girl for you
Doin' what you want me to do
Tryna be a good girl for you
Gonna show you all I can do

I'm tryna be a good girl
Do what you want, I’ll do what you want
Tryna be a good girl for you
Am I gonna tell you the truth?

This is for the both of us
All we built this love and trust
This is for the both of us

I saw you slip away
Pick up the fragments of
Our love disintegrate
We have it
I saw you slip away
Pick up the fragments of
Our love disintegrate
We have it, we have it
This is real
We have it
It was here
We have it, we have it

Tryna be a good girl for you
Doin' what you want me to do
(We have it)
Tryna be a good girl for you
(We have it)
Gonna show you all I can do
I'm tryna be a good girl
Do what you want, I'll do what you want
(We have it)
Tryna be a good girl for you
Now I gotta tell you the truth

credits

released August 24, 2018
Written by Kelley Kim & Jonathan Hakakian
Performed by Kelleia
Produced by Jonny Joon
Recorded at Speakeasy Studios in Burbank, CA
Mixed by Jonathan Hakakian & Patrick Elliott
Mastered by Joseph Bozzi, Bernie Grundman Mastering

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all rights reserved

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about

Kelleia Los Angeles, California

Producer & singer from Los Angeles, CA.

New single "Paralyzed" out now!

soundcloud.com/kelleia

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